Kindergarten
I am having a horrible time trying to figure out if I should try to convince a principal to let Ryan start school early. Here the cutoff date for a kindergartner is Sept 1. Well Ryan’s birthday is on the 25th. But he already knows his ABC’s. He writes all of them upper and lower case. He can write numbers 1-10 and can almost count to 20. He can write his full name. He knows his address. I mean, really, how many kindergartner’s actually go into the class knowing these things? I feel like him starting school would allow him to be challenged more than I have time to give him. Yes, that makes me feel like a horrible mom, but I have to give attention to the girls too. So Ryan suffers and ends up watching PBS or doing whatever he wants to. Well not whatever, but he has his own time. I try to do something to help him learn during the day. Whether it is trying to help him recognize regular words in some of our regular books, or working on phonics, or numbers, etc. It just feels like I am going to need to fight to get him in. Is it worth it, or should I just stick it out another year of having 3 kids at home and never having any me time?
That is a reason I feel bad about wanting him to start school. It makes me feel like I am a bad mom because I want him out so I can have more time to do things around the house or stuff for me. I can’t imagine having an hour when the girls are asleep to do whatever I want. Since that time right now is usually smashed packed with trying to do preschool stuff with Ryan. Playdoh, coloring, cooking, writing, typing, reading, etc. Is it selfish of me to want him to start this fall?
I think I am cutting it too close anyways, that he is not going to start. But I just needed to vent my feelings about the whole ordeal. Thanks!
I think it’s perfectly normal to feel in need of a break of the daily grind. The down side is once they start (school) the time goes by so quickly. Bree will be graduating next year. I still remember the outfits she wore to kindergarten and her toothless grin like it was yesterday. You begin to wish for those lazy days at home again.
This is exactly the decision that my parents (your grandparents) had to face with me — and I’m grateful that they got me into school “early.” They had to move to another state to do it (The cut-off in Oklahoma was, I believe, November 1 or October 31.) And, no, you’re not being selfish. Let me tell you of the two options Ryan has, because I lived one and narrowly escaped the other.
Because I started school earlier than I “should” have, I was always the youngest in my class. When they tested me and wanted to move me UP a grade (where I would have been at least TWO years younger than my classmates) my father stopped that from happening. Thank goodness! I was able to deal with being the youngest and, probably, the most immature one in my classes. When we moved back to Oklahoma, I was almost (but not quite) a full year younger than the next youngest person – and it went that way for the rest of school.
This may have caused me to be more shy and awkward than I normally would have, but it also meant I had to work a little harder to be accepted. (Boy, did this really show up in high school!) Since my mother had spent so much time with me (and bought me lots of comic books) I had learned to read before starting school (even the difficult words such as “invulnerable”) and was well ahead of my classmates throughout the next 12 years. In this way, I sort of had the best of both worlds.
Conversely, I later had friends who had started school “late” (as Ryan would do if he had to wait another year). They had many ego problems to face as they entered adulthood, because they had always been the biggest or quickest or most popular in school — and had become used to everyone looking up to them. A few of them had been bullies and were stunned when this attitude didn’t work in the grown-up world. (You will meet or have met people who still live with this mindset.)
Had I been held back a year, instead of awkward (which every person goes through) I might have been bullying. Instead of a love for reading, I might have become a jock type. Instead of trying hard, I might have just grown to think the world owed me a living.
So I don’t think you’re being selfish. I think you might even be rationalizing your feelings, since there’s a good chance you won’t be able to get Ryan in kindergarten now, and you’re cushioning yourself in case the school says “no.” What I think is that you’re thinking of which of the two alternatives might be better for Ryan. And you should never be ashamed of that.